


"Path of Discovery"

by valleya



Category: Kung Fu: The Legend Continues
Genre: Family Bonding, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-29
Updated: 2020-08-30
Packaged: 2021-03-06 18:47:34
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 20,982
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26183671
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/valleya/pseuds/valleya
Summary: Paul is on the run in South America battling with his demons, following the events of the second season episode, "Retribution".  As he goes about his business, Peter keeps popping up in his thoughts and he remembers an incident that occurred shortly after Peter first came to live with them.
Kudos: 2





	1. Chapter 1

"Discovery," Paul Blaisdell said to himself as he picked up his bottle of beer. "Peter was always a path of discovery for me and the rest of the family, too." 

He straightened in surprise, suddenly uneasy that he had actually given voice to his thoughts. Sipping nervously from his beer, he glanced around, and was relieved to see that the other patrons in the Central American cantina were out of earshot. He'd been spending too much time alone. Talking to himself was becoming a habit he was going to have to break. 

Setting the long-necked bottle back on the table, he wiped his mouth with the back of his hand and smiled, thinking of Peter again. That boy never stopped talking unless he was asleep or unconscious. Paul chuckled softly, but the laughter died as he thought of another reason for Peter's silences.

Peter Caine was one to take strong feelings to heart and bury them deep inside until they erupted like a volcano. Paul picked up his beer and took another long swallow before he set it down again, remembering the seventeen eventful years he'd spent with his foster son. He had never known anyone quite like Peter Caine and probably never would again.

Paul shook off the sudden wave of loneliness that came with thinking of Peter and reached for his handkerchief. He wiped at the accumulated sweat on his brow, noting 

the futility of the gesture. As hot and humid as it was, there was no escaping the daily sweat bath. 

Because of threats made against the lives of those he loved and against his own life, the former government agent and ex-police captain had been burrowing into the small towns deep in the heart of the Central American jungle for some time. He sighed, closing his eyes as he wished a sudden snowstorm would interrupt the oppressive midday heat.

He shook his head, thinking the heat was finally affecting his brain to wish for such impossible things. He glanced at his watch, and decided he needed to be moving along. He'd been there long enough. Not that he had some place to be, he just didn't like spending that much time out in public view. 

He reached for his wallet to pay for lunch, and was left staring down at the battered leather in his hand as if it contained great treasures. Biting his lip, he realized it did. Carefully, he removed one of the few pictures he'd brought with him from a hidden insert inside the wallet. The one he went to first was a snapshot taken with the family at the cabin soon after Peter had moved in with them.

Paul grimaced as he noticed how the photograph revealed his dark hair at the time, nearly free of the gray so prominent now. And that mustache, what the hell was he thinking? Chagrined, he shook his head until another facet of the picture's details drew his attention again. Everyone looked so young and carefree. Such a simpler time. 

Paul fingered the worn edges of the photo, and a great swell of homesickness swept over him. He leaned back in his chair, tired from the heat and the burden of distant loved ones. He closed his eyes as he unknowingly brought the photo to rest over his heart.

Peter swam into his thoughts during those idle moments. But it wasn't the present day Peter who came to visit him. It was the youngster who had entered his house so full of anger and fear, yet so eager to be loved. Perhaps it was the fear of not being loved that had fueled most of Peter's inexplicable actions in those early days, Paul decided, as he thought back. 

Paul took a deep breath. His eyes were barely open, but his training and experience kept him ever watchful as he let himself drift back to that time so long ago.

**oOoOoOoOo**

_Paul woke in the middle of the night to find Kelly standing beside his bed, clutching a stuffed teddy bear in her arms. "Daddy, it sounds like Peter's having a really bad nightmare this time."_

_Annie started to get up, but Paul stopped her. "No, you've been up with him nearly every night this week. I'll take care of it."_

_She slipped a hand over his as it rested on her arm. "Just remember, Paul, try not to startle him out of the dream. You don't want to frighten him anymore than the dreams already do."_

_"Got it."_

_Paul patted Kelly on the shoulder as he climbed out of bed. "Okay, munchkin, I'll handle it from here. You go back to bed."_

_Kelly paused, looking up at him with worry. "Peter scares me when he's having such bad dreams."_

_Paul smiled and knelt down beside her. "He's very lucky to have a caring little sister like you." He hugged her and stood. "Okay, off to bed. I’ll take care of Peter."_

_She nodded and turned toward her room. He slipped on his robe and slippers, shivering in the biting cold of a March evening at the cabin. It was always colder at the lake than the city, and it would remain that way until they got the wood stove going in the morning._  
  
_Paul headed off toward Peter's room. His pace quickened as he picked up the rising tone of panicked fear in Peter's voice. There was more than the muffled rambling of a dreamer going on in there. Much more._

_Paul was quite familiar with nightmares after spending most of his life fighting one war after another. Many men turned to him in the course of his service as a ranking officer, and by virtue of being out in the field with them. He saw firsthand how violence and grief could torture a man's soul, even in his sleep, but such devastating nightmares in one so young had him baffled._

_He pushed open Peter's bedroom door, bracing himself for the next encounter with Peter's demons. This dream appeared to be a particularly frightening nightmare. Paul clenched his fists, and then forced his fingers to relax. It would take all he had to help his new son without awakening him._

_When he stopped beside Peter's bed, he noticed a dark, sweaty flush to Peter's skin. Peter had been very quiet all day, more so than normal, but Paul had written it off to adjustment blues. After all, this was still only his first month of living with the Blaisdells as a new member of their family._

_Paul reached down and barely grazed his fingertips across Peter's forehead, surprised at the warmth he found there. He glanced back at the door, wondering if he should call Annie to help. She was always the one who tended to the girls when they were sick._

_He sighed. First, he had to get Peter past this nightmare, and then he would worry about ailments of the body. Ailments of the heart were far more difficult to treat, at least to his way of thinking._

_Peter cried out again, sounding more desperate than ever. "No! Father, don't leave me!"_

_Paul bent down beside Peter, about to soothe the boy when Peter suddenly arched up from the bed. His head hit Paul squarely on the forehead and Paul went sprawling, caught off-guard by the painful encounter._

_Peter rose from his bed with a blank expression, moving like a zombie following the dictates of a distant master. Paul tried to get up to stop him, but his limbs refused to cooperate._

_Paul heard Kelly scream, "Daddy!" The fear in her voice clutched at his heart, making him wish she hadn't seen what had just happened. He hadn't even realized she'd followed him into Peter's room, and now it was too late to shield her from Peter's unexpected reaction._

_"Peter," Paul started, still holding his forehead, but the staggering blow proved too much for him and he collapsed back to the floor._

_Distantly, he was aware of Peter's strange behavior. The boy seemed oblivious to their presence as he glided out of the room. The last thing Paul saw as Kelly rushed to his side was Peter disappearing from sight, and then his world went black until someone pulled him back._

_Paul jumped with sudden alertness, and then grabbed his forehead in misery, groaning loudly. There was a large knot where Peter's head had collided with his. The room began to spin with his movement, but he was conscious enough to know Annie was at his side._

_"Paul, are you okay?" she asked, her voice full of worry._

_Paul grunted an affirmative, but he couldn't make himself sit up quite yet._

_"You scared me when you wouldn't wake up."_

_Paul raised his head, gritting his teeth together as he slowly forced himself up, trying to reconstruct the last moments before he passed out. Annie's hold on him was strong as she supported him and he remained silent for another moment._

_"Paul?" Annie asked, bringing her hand to his cheek. "What happened? Are you hurt badly?"_

_"Wh-where's Peter?" he asked, his voice thick with lingering confusion._

_Kelly answered. "Peter just walked right past me like I wasn't even there, and went down the stairs. I mean, he held his head after he hit it with yours, but then all he did was blink and rub his forehead. His eyes were open when he got up out of bed, and I thought he was awake, but, Daddy, he had this weird look in his eyes like he didn't see any of us or that you were lying on the floor..."_

_Annie rubbed his shoulder. "I came in right after that."_

_Paul blinked and looked around, still trying to rid of himself the double vision currently plaguing him. "Where is he now?"_

_"I don't know," Annie said._

_Paul glanced over at her and squeezed her hand. "I need to find him."_

_"You stay right where you are, Paul Blaisdell. I sent Carolyn after Peter and had Kelly call Doc Brinley."_

_Paul shook his head as he brushed away her protective hold, getting to his feet. "No, I need to find him."_

_The room wavered around him and he grabbed hold of Peter's desk chair for support._

_"Paul," Annie started, staying close to his side._

_"I'm fine, Annie, but Peter isn't. I've been reading up on nightmares and dreams, trying to get a handle on how to help that boy. It sounds like he's in a wakeful dream...a type of sleep-walking."_

_He paused at the door, holding onto the frame when his horizon tilted once again. He was relieved the disorientation didn't last long and he rubbed his forehead, trying to rid himself of the lingering fogginess still clinging to his thoughts._

_"Hell, I have no idea what's going on with Peter, but somebody has to be with him. He might fall into a ravine or something as equally dangerous." Paul shuddered, remembering recent warnings of increased black bear sightings in the area._

_Annie wrapped an arm around him. "Carolyn should be with him, honey. Do you really think you should be up? You don't sound good."_

_Paul nodded, and then regretted the movement. He closed his eyes, pushing away his personal ailments. "I've got to find him, Annie," he whispered, "I think he might be sick. He felt like he was running a fever before he knocked me silly. Stupid move, on my part, I should have been watching for something like that. He was having one hell of a nightmare."_

_Paul glanced out the window and spoke without turning away from the inky darkness. "This is no night for a boy to be sick and outside without proper clothing."_

_He turned to her in time to see Annie bring a hand to her mouth, nodding in muted understanding._

_"I hope Carolyn has been able to keep up with him," he said, and then realized the effect his comments were having on his wife._

_He squeezed her to him, pausing long enough to give her a quick kiss. "I'll bring them home," he whispered into her ear before releasing her._

_She never really let go of him as he took a step forward and he readied himself for a confrontation, but stopped as another thought hit him. "How long was I out?"_

_"Not long. I came running when I heard Kelly scream. Carolyn came in right behind me. I sent her after Peter right away, but you were unconscious long enough to frighten me more than I'd like to admit."_

_"I'm sorry for that," he whispered as he glanced out the window again. The darkness was enough to make him curse under his breath._

_"Don't be sorry, just be okay," she whispered back to him as she let go of his arm and knew she was releasing him to do what had to be done. Without another word, he turned toward the stairs, forcing his legs to carry him forward._

_"He went down the stairs?" he asked breathlessly as he entered the hallway._

_"Yes, and I heard the back door slam as I got to the door of Peter's bedroom."_

_"I'll bring them back home, Annie," Paul repeated his previous sentiment as he headed for the stairs headed for the stairs, hoping his message carried enough conviction for Annie to stop worrying. Then again, knowing his wife, she wouldn't do that until she had both kids in her arms again._

**oOoOoOoOo**


	2. Chapter 2

  
Paul jolted upright as the stark memory of that night hit him with renewed force. He tried to steady his breathing, but it was as if those frightening remembrances were unfolding anew, as if he held the key to stop all the trauma and tragedy from happening, but as he glanced down at his shaking hands, all he really had was the knowledge of those past events and no magical way to stop the horrors, anymore than he had when they occurred seventeen years earlier. 

"I guess Peter's not the only one with troubling dreams about the past," he muttered to himself.

He glanced around, checking for any sign of danger after his unscheduled siesta, but it seemed no one was paying any attention to him. He was simply a _gringo_ and most of the inhabitants of _El Nocturna Negro_ only cared about earning some of his money.

Granted, there were plenty of good, honest people in the area, but Paul had purposefully kept his distance, and didn't encourage conversation. The less the people knew of him, the safer they would all be.

He stood, anxious to be on the move. He returned the photo to its hiding place before he fished out a few wrinkled bank notes to toss onto the table. Paul left the cantina, deliberately keeping his thoughts neutral as he walked the barely used path back to the house he was renting. There was no denying the fact that he was still shaken from the intensity of his dream and even the physical activity of walking couldn't loosen the dream's grip on his conscious thoughts.

Was there something he could have done differently with Peter? Maybe if he'd handled things in another way before that fateful night, Peter would have settled into the family more easily and not have been plagued by those awful nightmares nearly as often.

Paul's gaze stayed mostly on the path, though it occasionally darted around to make sure he wasn't being followed. For some reason, he was still on the alert for trouble. In fact, it was as if all of his senses were set on high alert. "Probably that damned dream still firing warning signals inside my head!" he cursed.

His hands curled into fists from frustration. He sure wouldn't last long if he continued to fall asleep in public places, that much was certain. Lapses like that gave people ideas and left him wide open for an attack from his enemies or anyone else looking to grab a quick buck. His self-recriminations didn't last long, and soon his thoughts drifted back to Peter and that fateful night. 

Funny how a person could go years without thinking of a particular incident and then something could trigger it to the point that it was all he could think of. Yet, Paul couldn't go back and change the past. Nothing could do that. If he'd had that power, he would have used it long ago, so that he wouldn't be enduring this forced separation from his family.

Paul's mind was again firmly centered on Peter. He wasn't much more than a boy when he came to live with them, but by the time he'd entered their door, Peter had already experienced more grief than most adults did in a lifetime. 

Paul sighed. It seemed young Peter would be his companion for the coming night. Paul didn't fight it, though. He was lonely. So, he just let the memories flow over him, taking him back to an earlier time. A time when he was with those he loved. A time of happiness. A time of fear. A time of discovery. 

**oOoOoOoOo**

_Paul was still moving down the stairs as he raised his voice, "Annie, call the sheriff's office and have them get in touch with Kyle Coster. Tell them Kyle needs to set up a search grid ASAP, using our house as a command base. We've got to find Peter and Carolyn and find them fast."_

_He reached the back door. It was still open from Peter's escape, or maybe it was from Carolyn as she followed him out. He swallowed as he pushed the door all the way open._

_"Dammit," he muttered to the emptiness of midnight._

_It was a dark March night. There were no moon or stars to help guide him to the kids. The wind blew hard, sweeping past him in a wild rush, as if trying to hold him back from the unseen dangers._

_"Peter?" he called out, trying to decide which way the boy would have run._

_"Carolyn?" he shouted._

_Finally, in frustration, he raised his voice even more, "Dammit, somebody answer me!"_

_His only response came from the wind, still blowing hard, but now it seemed to simply glide past him, silencing itself as it rushed past him, as if it knew the frantic father needed all his concentration to find his children. Still, once it was beyond him, the wind howled with all the fury Mother Nature could summon._

_The sound made Paul shiver, and not just because it was a cold night. He glanced down at his pajamas, robe, and slippers, and remembered the 11:00 News said something about overnight temperatures were expected to be in the low forties._

_"Dammit!" he repeated, more emphatically this time as he imagined Peter, barefoot and in lightweight pajamas, wandering the mountainside in a dream-induced haze. The feverish skin he'd touched earlier now seemed burning hot._

_He had to find the children and find them fast. He could only hope that wherever Peter was, Carolyn was there with him. Paul circled the area, calling the children's names as loud as he could. The dogs in the homes scattered around the lake started barking and howling, but Paul didn't care who he awakened. In fact, he was hoping he would awaken everyone. The more people who were up and searching for Peter, the better._

_He turned toward the direction of his own house and paused in indecision. If Peter was startled awake, he could run like the wind with those long, lanky legs of his. Who knew where he could end up?_

_Paul rubbed a cold hand over his mouth. "How long did those blasted medical articles say waking nightmares could last anyway?" Paul asked aloud._

_He cursed his memory as the exact figures eluded him. He glanced at his watch. It seemed much too long for Peter to still be dreaming. Childhood nightmares had to be the cruelest of its kind. He slapped a fist against one thigh._

_If the child placement paperwork was accurate, Peter had experienced these bone-chilling nightmares for years. Paul put a hand to the back of his neck and stood in place as he realized he was now experiencing a waking nightmare of his own with the children missing. Damn it to hell, he had to find them and soon!_

_He started jogging back to the house, praying that Peter would stop in a place where Carolyn could call for help. Or that he'd awaken on his own and come back to them. Paul closed his eyes as an image of Peter lying unconscious in a ditch swept across his mind._

_"Dammit, Peter," he whispered, "Don't do this to us. Don't do it to yourself."_

_He returned to the house as two sheriff's vehicles pulled up in the driveway, parking behind Doc Brinley's car. Both of the patrol cars still had their red-and-blue lights flashing, leaving a visual beacon for the kids to find their way home to them._

_Paul rubbed his face again. "Please, God, watch over them and bring them home safely," he prayed as he caught sight of Annie standing at the front door, and then his prayers went silent as he took her in his arms._

_There was some slight comfort in the fact that no words were needed for her to feel his disappointment. No words. Only a lengthy embrace that spoke volumes in the language of the unsuccessful, accentuated with an underlying current of fear, a combination which left them both holding more tightly to each other for strength and courage._

_Somehow, even the sighted people in the room seemed to understand and gave the Blaisdells additional time and space to come to terms with the challenges their children now faced._

**oOoOoOoOo**


	3. Chapter 3

  
Paul shivered inwardly despite the sweltering heat as he finally reached his isolated dwelling. The house wasn't much to look at, but it was tolerable, though he'd never call it home. Home was a thousand miles away, safe and sound due to his continued absence.

A thousand miles, and at times, it seemed like a lifetime away. He slapped at a mosquito on his neck, and then rubbed at the burning sensation the bite had left. It stung, but it was nothing compared to the ache that swelled in his heart whenever he remembered the haunted look in Peter's eyes on that horrible night. It was indelibly etched upon his soul, and forever bound him to the man he loved as his own son.

Flesh and blood couldn't have created a stronger bond between them. That thought made Paul smile at its simple honesty. _'You've got to stop focusing on the negative. Focus on the positive. Like the love you share with Annie, the girls, and Peter. That's where your strength will always lie.'_

He sighed and plopped down on the steps leading to the porch. The constant risk of flooding in the area had all of the houses built on stilts or elevated in some way. He had been lucky enough to find a house with real stairs and not a ladder. 

The thought of climbing a ladder to get into his house lacked any sort of appeal. So did dwelling on his loved ones, he decided as he sighed again. The thought of them always led to other thoughts of loss, regret, and remorse. Occasionally, there was no escaping the emotions, so he would allow them to run their course, working through them until he could lock them away again.

Annie floated in his mind’s eye and he smiled without meaning to. She always had such a solid, intuitive way with Peter, and never struggled for the proper thing to say to him like he did. Paul got better at it later on, but in those early days, it was so hard to know what to do with Peter. Paul's heart told him to take one course of action while his mind dictated another and the two factions were constantly at war inside of him.

Paul let out a long breath as he stood outside of what passed for home now. Maybe this struggle of not knowing what the right thing to do was always the way between fathers and sons. At least, that was how his own father had described it to him years after he had grown from a teenager to a man.

He smiled as he thought of how Paul's father might have interacted with Peter if they had ever met in person. He imagined the two would have taken to each other as kindred spirits. A meeting that he would have given anything to see, for it would have been a gift beyond measure.

Paul was still imagining Peter meeting his foster grandfather for the first time as he pushed open the front door and walked into his house. He froze when he found the place had been ransacked in the short time he'd been away. He drew his weapon immediately as his gaze swept the room for any sign of lingering danger. 

He searched the small residence and confirmed the fact that he was alone. Next, he looked for any hidden dangers, like explosives or surveillance devices. He didn't stop searching until he was sure that he had been visited by common thieves, and not very good ones at that.

They had taken his duffle bag, containing clothes and a few other items of possible resale value, but they had missed the mother lode. Namely, his suitcase, which had been hidden away behind the icebox. The small valise held his laptop, important paperwork and spare cash. The stolen items were unimportant and could be easily replaced.

Paul's previous agitation had mushroomed by the brush with unexpected visitors. Not wasting any time, he grabbed the small suitcase and rounded up the remaining items the thieves had not considered valuable. He was in his jeep within minutes and headed south. 

A screeching bird disturbed by Paul's reckless pace caused him to slow down a bit. He was alone on the road and there was no need for excessive speed. Still, he didn't stop for two more hours, pulling into another nondescript town before sunset. Once he looked the town over, he made a few stops, buying necessities and asking about possible places to rent. Soon, he had another place where he could stay until it was time to move on again. He paid for a month in advance in cash and left to get settled in.

There was one advantage to his new residence. It had a diesel generator for electricity. It was a noisy thing, but a welcomed necessity. Still, he was leery of attack and sat in the dark for a while to make sure he was truly alone. He used a few gadgets Blake had given him, checking for electronic tracking devices on his jeep and his other possessions, unable to let go of the fact that the thieves who had ransacked his place could have just as easily been enemies sent to kill him.

Unable to justify another moment of paranoia, Paul turned on the generator and went to his laptop. His need for information on the outside world was strong that evening, stronger than it had been for a very long time.

He scanned the news headlines before going to check his anonymous e-mail account, drawing out the anticipation of news from home as long as he could. Very few, the trusted few, knew how to leave him an encrypted message, one that he, and only he, knew how to decipher.

Paul's heart leapt when he saw there was a message from Kermit. So many times, there had been nothing when he finally got around to checking the site for messages. Then again, no news was often good news. 

Opening it up, he was disappointed to see only three lines. He comforted himself in the knowledge that Griffin's e-mails were always succinct, to the point of being miserly. 

Paul's heart began to pound again when he deciphered those three lines. His voice trembled as he read them aloud, as if saying them aloud would diminish the danger involved in their meaning. 

**'Peter shot by murder suspect this AM. He'll be fine. Annie's with him and wanted you to know.'**

"Damn," he cursed softly as he stared at the monitor. "Is that why you've been on my mind so much today, Peter?"

Paul rubbed his eyes, trying to assimilate the new information, but it seemed to stick in his craw. "Still getting into trouble, I see," he said as he shut off the computer. 

Whirling around, he threw his fists up into the air and shouted, "Dammit, Peter, when will you learn to take better care of yourself?" 

The shout echoed impotently inside the one room house, but the echo in his soul still resonated with the raw emotions raging within. Squeezing his eyes shut, he consciously pulled the intense feelings back inside and managed to tuck them away as he whispered, "Thank God, you're okay at least." 

He walked outside, forcing himself to pace the veranda in an effort to avoid breaking down in tears. How could three little lines tear at his soul so? That boy had found a way into his heart almost from the first moment they'd met, and now he had a lock on him that could never be broken. 

Paul came to a stop, and leaned against the railing. From Peter's first nightmares so long ago to now, the worry and fear he felt for his son never eased. Even though his mind had come to accept the fact that Peter would probably always be involved in life-threatening situations, his heart could never willingly accept the injuries that usually accompanied the risk. 

For to do that, he'd have to stop caring about Peter, have to stop loving him like he did. No, that wasn't going to happen in this lifetime, nor the next. He was so intent in considering the rare bond he held with Peter that the growing noises of the awakening nightlife faded into nothingness, mostly because he wasn't really there in that jungle any longer.

He was with Annie and Peter and the others back home. That dreadful night with Peter and Carolyn called upon him again, and he was lost in that netherworld where past events unfolded around him as if they were happening for the first time again. 

**oOoOoOoOo**

_Paul glanced up from Annie's side to see a very grim expression settle on Kyle Coster’s face as he paused. The leader of the local search-and-research team looked as if he wasn't fully awake yet, but the gravity surrounding the missing children quickly corrected that fact. It took all Paul had not to bolt from the assembled group of volunteers and go off searching alone again, but he stayed for Annie's sake._

_There was also Kelly to consider. She had barely left his side since he'd returned to the house. Nothing had turned up with the patrol cars searching the surrounding roads, so their last option was to send search parties out into the forest._

_Annie squeezed his hand, dragging his attention back to her troubled expression. "Paul, your hands are like ice. Be sure to wear your gloves before you go out again," she whispered, trying not to distract the others from Kyle's speech as he finished briefing the group on what had happened and began assigning tasks to the team members._

_Paul was warmly dressed by then, with layers of clothes to protect him from the elements, as were the other volunteers. The cold in his hands came from a chill in his heart, a chill created by the constant worry of what would happen to the kids if they weren't found soon._

_"I’ll be fine," he responded._

_A rush of worried anger sent his gaze darting away from her, even though he knew she couldn't possibly see his dark expression. "Dammit, Peter and Carolyn don't have any gloves! No socks. No shoes. Nothing!"_

_Annie pressed her face into his neck. "I know, Paul, but we have to believe they are okay."_

_Paul looked up in time to see a familiar face appear at the rear of the group and he nodded once in acknowledgment. He turned back to Annie and hugged her again. "It's time for me to go."_

_Annie didn't let go of him right away, but when she did, it was with resigned reluctance. "Yes, it is. Do you want me to tell Kyle where you've gone looking?"_

_Paul shook his head. "No, I already spoke to him."_

_He started to leave when he noticed Kelly watching him with tear-filled eyes. "Can I go with you, Daddy? I'm really good at hide-and-seek. I can find them. I know I can."_

_Paul knelt down beside her and pulled her into his arms, giving her a good long hug. "No, honey, I'm sorry, but the way I'll be traveling would be too hard on you."_

_Kelly choked back a sob. "It's my fault, Daddy. I should have stopped Peter before he left the house."_

_Paul had Kelly in another hug before he realized it. He pulled back slightly and allowed his gaze to stare deep into Kelly's eyes. "No, honey, it's nobody's fault. Peter just had a bad dream. That's all. We'll find both of them and bring them home soon, okay?"_

_Kelly nodded and took Annie's proffered hand. "Okay, Daddy. Just be careful. Billy Thompson says there's bears and wolves out there at night that eat little kids like me. They might eat grown-ups like you, too."_

_Paul grimaced. It looked like it was time to have another talk with Billy Thompson about the scary stories he told his daughters when he babysat for them._

_He stared down into the angelic expression of his youngest, trying so hard to be brave, trying so hard to be strong for her parents. The swell of pride he felt for the little one who had just volunteered to go out to search for Peter grew, especially when factoring in the risk of encountering bears and wolves that ate kids like her._

_Paul tousled her hair and turned to walk away. "Take care of your mom for me, okay?"_

_She nodded in her little way, but added, "Daddy, Scooby must be with them, because he's gone, too."_

_Her words pulled him back to her as he glanced over to the backyard. "Gone?"_

_"Yeah, I can't find him anywhere."_

_Paul chewed on his lower lip as he took in the new information. Scooby, or Scooby Doo, as the girls had affectionately named him, was a large brown Labrador. The dog had become Carolyn's shadow wherever they went._

_He should have noticed the dog's absence when he went out the back door earlier as he began the initial search for the children, but his mind was on Peter and Carolyn, and not the family pet. If Carolyn had gone out in the middle of the night, Scooby was sure to have been at her side._

_For some reason, that thought allowed him to breathe a little easier, knowing she had reliable canine company watching over her. "Don't worry, honey. If he's with Carolyn, that's a good thing."_

_Kelly nodded. Paul squeezed Annie's arm once more to let her know he was leaving, and Annie read the signal immediately. "Kelly, why don't we go inside and get things ready to make a big batch of hot chocolate for everyone when they get back?"_

_Paul left them to work his way to the rear of the group, searching for Kermit. The ex-merc slipped up beside him and fell in step. "Got your message. I put together what we might need and got over here as quickly as I could."_

_Paul nodded, motioning for Kermit to follow him as they headed into the forest. Kermit must have driven like a demon on amphetamines to get up the cabin so fast. Paul hoped he hadn't broken too many rules to get there, but then rules weren't something Kermit typically agonized over._

_Griffin was already dressed for night work, and loaded with gear for the search. Kermit, if nothing, was always very well prepared. Once they were alone, Kermit glanced his way. "Anything else we should be considering here? Like, someone snatching the kids for a more sinister motive?"_

_Paul shook his head, as he pulled on the all-weather gloves Annie had given him, but he didn't slow down. They were on a mission to find the two kids, one that had to succeed. Thank heaven for Kermit's practicality, and for his ability to analyze, plan, and hopefully to locate their targets._

_Paul gave Griffin a quick glance before he spoke. "No, I think Peter took off, following the dictates of his wakeful dream, and Carolyn is simply following him. The most dangerous factor here is the temperature. It's damned cold out here."_

_Paul paused, rubbing the back of his neck. "We've drilled it into both girls not to awaken Peter when he's having a nightmare, but this..."_

_"This is different," Kermit finished for him._

_"Yes. Peter's never done anything like this before."_

_Kermit eyed the obvious swelling on Paul's forehead and remained silent as they moved along. "Yeah, well, according to what you've told me, he's never lived with a traditional family for any length of time. It could just be all of the new stuff threw him into a major nightmare."_

_As Paul considered Kermit's comment, the younger man smirked. "I know living with you would give me nightmares."_

_Paul laughed and shook his head. "We've certainly been through some hellish nightmares together."_

_"Oh yeah," Griffin said quietly, flipping on his flashlight as they entered heavier brush. "But it is an encouraging sign."_

_"What's that?" Paul asked._

_"The fact you can still laugh at a moment like this. Even at my bad jokes." He slapped Paul on the back. "Don't worry, we'll find them."_

_Kermit pushed ahead, leaving Paul a pace behind him. Just how he had been blessed with friends like Kermit amazed him, but Paul was grateful for his good fortune nonetheless. Now, if it would only carry over into finding the two kids quickly, he'd never ask anything from life again._

**oOoOoOoOo**


	4. Chapter 4

  
Paul left the computer and went to the icebox, pulling out a beer to draw across his forehead. He sighed as the meager cold from the bottle gave a burst of relief from the heat, grateful that the recently placed chunk of ice in the ancient icebox had chilled the bottle enough to be enjoyed. 

He paced the small kitchen area, finally abandoning it for the bigger living space. The place had a musty smell to it, and the layer of dust over everything confirmed the fact that no one had lived there for a while. He grabbed a towel and brushed away the dust and the bugs from a large overstuffed chair. As he sat down, he sank deep into the chair's inner recesses as it gave far more than the original maker ever intended, nearly swallowing him up.

Paul grunted at the absurdity of his situation and took a long sip from the beer bottle in his hand, noting how the ample cushions of the chair yielded to his every ache and pain. He found himself growing drowsy until he thought of Peter once again. 

Kermit's e-mail echoed through his thoughts like repeating gunfire. **'Shot by a murder suspect.'**

"My God, Peter, you know better," he chided as if Peter could hear him.

It had only been six months since Peter had nearly lost his life in another shooting incident. Paul gritted his teeth as he thought about how close Peter had been to dying that time. Too damned close.

Paul took another long swallow from his beer. He was a seasoned soldier who had seen many fall in battle over the course of his life, but Peter was a cop. A cop who had already seen more injuries than most had over the course of an entire career. A cop who had saved countless lives with his courageous actions. And he was a cop who was also Paul's son.

"Dammit," he muttered aloud.

Fingers rasped through the stubble of his chin as his gaze wandered over to his suitcase still sitting beside his computer. He glanced out the window beside him, checking once again for possible intruders. He was weary of the entire process. 

Paul thought about Rykker, wondering how his friend was coming along with the task of identifying and eliminating the possible threats against Paul's life and those he loved. He briefly considered firing up the computer again, but discarded it as a bad idea. If Rykker had made any headway, Kermit would have let him know in his last message.

The small leather suitcase served as a visual reminder of his constant need to be ready for travel at a moment's notice and he detested its presence with a passion. It felt like he'd been on the run for decades and he was sick of it. 

His life lacked any sort of direction. All he lived for were the abbreviated messages from home and when they came with bad news, there was nothing he could do to help them. It was worse than being in prison. At least there, he would be allowed visitors on a regular basis. He felt like he was afloat on a sailboat on a windless sea, adrift in the doldrums of life without a sail or a rudder to set his course. 

He slapped at the arm of his chair in frustration, only to begin coughing with the cloud of dust the motion stirred into the air. Another sip of his beer helped quiet the cough, but not the ache of his heart.

The letters hidden in the flash bag inside the lining of his suitcase, which were set to self-destruct if they should fall into the wrong hands, crossed his thoughts. Thinking of the letters caused Peter to spring to the forefront of his mind again. 

  
Paul ran a hand through his hair as he worked to control his pent-up frustration, and then associated his current level of frustration to what he had felt when he and Kermit were searching the countryside for Carolyn and Peter, so many years before. 

He closed his eyes, lost in the memory again, as his head rested against the chair's pillowy support. He wasn't fully awake, but not quite sleeping, caught in that limbo in between, still searching for his lost children.

**oOoOoOoOo**

_The predawn sky started to rumble with thunder, but it felt too cold for rain. Paul stomped his feet as he looked at his watch with his flashlight and then swept the area with the light, looking for any clue to show them which way Carolyn or Peter had gone._

_He briefly considered trying the walkie-talkies again, but the reception was poor in their area. Maybe if they could head to higher ground, he could find out how the search was progressing for the others. Right then, it seemed like all the two of them were doing was spinning their wheels._

_The thought of spinning wheels made him dizzy, and that reminded him of his throbbing head which played to the beat of his churning stomach, but he couldn't be bothered with insignificant physical complaints. They had to find those kids._

_"Peter! Carolyn!" he shouted, his voice echoing across the silent gully below them._

_Without additional warning, his horizon shifted and he dropped to the ground. The next thing he knew, Kermit was waving a broken ammonia capsule under his nose. He pushed Kermit's hand away and coughed, closing his eyes against the pain and nausea until it passed. When he opened them again, he saw Kermit watching him closely._

_"Wipe that look off your face. I'm fine," he muttered as he forced himself upright._

_Kermit rocked back on his heels and stared at him for a long moment before he bent to help Paul stand. Paul faltered for a moment before he regained his balance, bringing a muddied glove to his forehead._

_"Sure, you were just checking the trail more closely for clues. A bit too closely, if you ask me, but that's just my opinion."_

_Paul growled in Kermit's direction, but didn't meet his gaze. His vision was still slightly doubled after passing out and a set of uncoordinated eyes made it very difficult to out-stare a subordinate in a face-to-face showdown._

_"You need to head back," Kermit said softly, "I can do this on my own."_

_Paul jerked the hand he held at his temple away from his face, ignoring the wave of dizziness the movement brought with it. Instead, he shoved both hands into the pockets of his jacket and took a few steps away from Kermit. "The only way I'm leaving before we find Peter and Carolyn is in a body bag, you got that?"_

_Kermit grunted sarcastically. "Yeah, I got that."_

_Kermit looked down at the map he was still holding in one hand. "Well, since you're fine, let me show you something."_

_The younger man extended the map, shining his flashlight on the laminated paper. Paul's anger dissipated as he leaned over to see what Kermit had to share. "The topographical map of the area I brought with me also shows some caves ahead. We need to veer off to the left, and then follow the natural rise of this ridge."_

_Paul nodded. "Yeah, and there are some sheer cliffs a little further up. If you aren't careful, one false step and – " Paul fell silent, his mind conjuring images of Peter and Carolyn lying at the bottom of one of those cliffs._

_"No, they're too smart for that," Kermit corrected him without looking away from his map, then Kermit glanced up, squinting as he tried to visualize the area ahead._

_Paul couldn't keep from worrying. "I still can't believe they got this far out here. This is one hell of a long shot."_

_Kermit smiled as he studied the map again. "I live for long shots. Besides, the other teams are already searching their areas. We've covered all the ground in our grid except this section."_

_Paul gave up and nodded. His voice held little conviction as he muttered, "Lead on."_

_The promises Paul had made to Annie and Kelly now seemed to ring hollow. And as hard as he tried not to give into despair, it was growing inside of him like a mutant weed._

_"Hey, is this Carolyn's?" Kermit asked as he held a small slipper up for Paul to see._

_"How the hell did you find that?" Paul asked, taking the shoe into his hand._

_Despair suddenly blossomed into hope as he recognized Carolyn's shoe. He held the pink house shoe as if it were made of glass, like Cinderella's fabled slipper._

_Kermit smiled. The ex-merc's demeanor brightened with their discovery as he met Paul's awed gaze. "I'm part bloodhound, you know."_

_He paused for effect before continuing, "You mean I've never told you of my embarrassing canine family line?" Kermit asked, shining the flashlight ahead of them. "It's something Mother doesn't like for us to mention very often."_

_Paul ignored the quip as his gaze swept around them. Carolyn had passed by this very point, hopefully with Peter. As the realization sunk in, both of them began to yell for Peter and Carolyn, but they were met with the same awful silence they'd dealt with all night long._

_The sky flashed white as a huge bolt of lightning temporarily blinded them. It was immediately followed by a deafening clap of thunder, and then heavy drops of rain began to pelt both men._

_"I see your usual good luck has abandoned us this time," Kermit said as he wiped at the rain on his face, and then tucked his maps inside his backpack. "Okay, we do this the hard way."_

_Wordlessly, Paul followed him in the darkness, and prayed they would come across the two kids very soon. Darkness, numbing cold, and now heavy rain. The risk of exposure to the elements had just tripled for Peter and Carolyn. It was going to be a long time before the first rays of morning could break through to warm the day._

**oOoOoOoOo**


	5. Chapter 5

Paul bolted up from his chair, his nerves endings electrified with warnings from the past. He clutched at the beer bottle in his hand before it slipped from his fingers to fall to the floor. Setting the bottle down beside the chair, he took a deep breath and decided to get ready for bed, even though sleep was the last thing he wanted to do. 

"I wonder if sleeping problems can be inherited from your kids," he muttered, but the humor fell flat as it echoed in the lonely room.

There were some yellowed novels sitting on a bookshelf in one corner. Curious, Paul went to read the titles, surprised to find _'A Midsummer's Night Dream'_ by William Shakespeare among the collection. Of course, it was the Spanish translation, but that wasn't a problem for Paul. He took the book with him, but knew he wasn't interested in reading Shakespeare right then. Nor was he interested in any other author he had with him. Nothing held his interest but thoughts of home. 

Flexing his fingers as he sat on his bed, he wondered if Annie was getting enough food and rest. Her vigils at the hospital with Peter usually took more out of her than she would freely admit.

He relaxed slightly as he remembered Kermit would be lurking in the background to ensure her well-being. Still, it wouldn't be an easy time for her. He swept up the book, and threw it hard across the room. He was rewarded with a dull thud as it smacked the wall and dropped to the floor. 

"So much for the enlightened reserve of age," he muttered to himself as he rubbed his neck. 

He picked up the discarded book, muttering self-recriminations to himself as he moved and set it back on the bookshelf before returning to his bed. 

A thought occurred to him, and he got some paper to write a quick letter to Annie. Maybe putting his thoughts to her in writing would give him enough peace to finally get some sleep. He had written a few lines before he sat back and closed his eyes, knowing the letter was one he wouldn't be sending. 

Annie didn't need to hear of his dark fears. It would only upset her and that was the last thing he wanted to do. Crumpling the paper, he let it fall into the nearby trash can. He'd take care to burn it in the morning.

"Peter, what am I going to do with you?" he asked, thinking of his son in a hospital bed once more. He scratched at an irritation on his brow. Somehow, the thought of hospitals reminded him of how he and Kermit had found Carolyn on that dreaded night.

**oOoOoOoOo**

_"Paul, over here!" Kermit shouted._

_Paul turned and his heart leapt with the sight before him. Caught in the beam, he saw Carolyn as she collapsed into Kermit's arms. In seconds, Paul was clutching his daughter close to him._

_Carolyn was a trembling, disheveled mess, but she was alive. Her damp nightgown and robe clung to her like a shroud, and there was dirt and mud caked to her clothes. Worse, she was shaking violently from the cold. Paul pulled off his jacket and draped it around her, but it seemed to be too little to help very much. Carolyn looked close to total collapse, not even recognizing the presence of her father as one of her rescuers._

_Breathlessly, she gasped the words, "My brother, he's..."_

_Her feet gave out from under her, and Paul helped ease her to the ground. In the meanwhile, Kermit had pulled out a emergency mylar blanket. The blanket was thin, it reflected up to ninety percent of a person's body heat back to them. He tucked it around her, and then opened a thermos of coffee, bringing it to her lips._

_"Careful, it's hot," he warned softly, looking across at Paul with worry._

_Once Carolyn had sipped the coffee, Paul brought his face close to hers. "Honey, it's Dad. Carolyn, don't you know me?"_

_He wiped at the water still on her face. Thankfully, the rain had stopped, but that fact didn't diminish his concern as he glanced up to meet Kermit's gaze again. The silent exchange told him Kermit was just as worried as he was about Carolyn, but Griffin went into action while all Paul could do was hold onto his daughter._

_The younger man reached into his backpack again and brought out a small object about the size of his hand. He squeezed it, and there was a small pop. Shaking it rapidly, Kermit placed it in Carolyn’s trembling hands. Carolyn took hold of it immediately. Apparently, the warmth the chemical reaction created within the plastic pouch reached her on some physical level._

_As Paul worked to get Carolyn's attention, Kermit went about slipping heated socks onto her muddy feet, and then rubbed her legs vigorously. The combined effect of warmth worked to bring her around again and Paul took immediate advantage of it._

_"Carolyn, what happened? Where's Peter?"_

_Peter's name was the only thing that elicited a reaction. She raised her head and pointed to the path she'd just come from. "Peter...he's up there. He's hurt. Hurt bad. Please, help him."_

_That exhausted her strength and she dropped back to the ground. Paul glanced again to Kermit again. The ex-merc dragged a hand across his mouth as he stared at the trail ahead and then shook his head sadly. Paul knew what he meant. They needed more information before he took off blindly. If Peter was badly injured, every moment wasted might make the difference between life and death._

_Paul pulled off his gloves and rubbed Carolyn’s hands with his warm fingers before placing the gloves on her hands and the heat pack back into her hands. "Honey, you have to talk to me. You have to tell me where Peter is before I can go help him."_

_Carolyn opened her eyes and really saw him for the first time. Her relieved expression transformed into one of despair as she reached up for him. Paul hugged her tightly, and she wept against his chest with great breath-stealing sobs. As much as he hated to do it, he had to stop her. There would be time for comfort later, but if Peter was hurt, they had to find him fast._

_He kissed her matted hair and then pulled back to stare into her tear-filled eyes. "Carolyn, honey, what happened? Where's Peter, and how did he get hurt?"_

_Carolyn choked back another sob. She nodded, understanding the urgent need to find Peter. "He's up ahead. Just follow the path. I – I left him in a little cave on the right, just past the trees."_

_Her voice broke as her eyes glazed over. Paul could only guess at the recent horrors replaying in her mind. He touched her icy cheek, pulling her attention back to him. "How badly is he hurt?"_

_"I – I don't know. It was dark and – and.." she stuttered, and then she glanced up at him, pinning him in place with her intensity. "Daddy, it's bad. There was a bear, and it attacked Scooby."_

_Her voice broke again, and she pressed her face into his chest. This time, he didn't stop her or pull her away. He was almost afraid to hear what she had to tell him. He held onto her, comforting her as she struggled to find words of explanation._

_She started again, finally able to speak, but her face was still pressed against his chest. "Scooby's dead."_

_He swallowed, tightening his hold on her. Kermit started searching in his backpack and pulled out his walkie-talkie. "Command Base? This is Griffin. Come in."_

_Carolyn's sobs began anew and Paul rocked with her in his arms, a motion that comforted both of them. "Shush, honey, it's okay. You're safe now. Peter will be, too, but you have to be strong for a little longer."_

_He kissed the top of her head again, watching in disappointment as Kermit shouted in his walkie-talkie, "Dammit! Command base, are you receiving me?"_

_Kermit tossed the walkie-talkie into the backpack and took a deep breath. Paul didn't say anything. Instead, he rubbed Carolyn's back for a moment before he spoke, "Honey, I'm going to go find Peter. You'll be okay here. Kermit will stay with you."_

_Carolyn nodded, her attention solely on her new brother. "Find him, Daddy. Make sure he's okay." Her words brought another sob, but she held it in as she pushed him away. "Please find him."_

_Paul smiled at her bravery, brushing back the hair in her eyes. "I'll be right back."_

_He met Kermit several steps down the path. Both of them spoke at the same time, saying the exact same words, "I'm going after Peter."_

_Paul shook his head. "No, Kermit, you have to stay with Carolyn. Keep her warm until I get back with Peter."_

_Kermit bristled at his suggestion. "I'm not very good with crying teenage girls. Besides, you're hurt. I'm better suited to go after Peter."_

_Paul looked ahead, feeling his expression tighten. "Yes, you are, but he's my responsibility."_

_Kermit frowned, but didn't argue. His opposition dissolved with Paul's simple statement. Paul started to walk away, but Kermit had one last comment. "If you aren't back here in twenty minutes, I'm coming after you."_

_Paul waved him away without looking back. "Just keep Carolyn warm...and safe. Don't leave her alone for any reason. Not even for me. I'll find Peter and come back, and then we can head down the ridge together."_

_Then he trudged on, not knowing what he'd find, praying he would find Peter alive. They had to save him. Fate's cruelest blow that night would come from being allowed to find the kids without being able to bring them both back safe and sound._

_He'd started up the trail, just rounding a curve when he heard the sound of a flare gun going off. The sound brought a quick smile to his lips._ Good _, he thought,_ Kermit's bringing in the troops. 

_Without the walkie-talkies, it was the only way to let the others know they had found the kids. Now, if only he could find Peter alive, this dreadful night would finally be over._

**oOoOoOoOo**


	6. Chapter 6

Paul got out of bed and paced. Sleep clearly wasn't something he was going to find any time soon. That cold, rainy night was still with him, more real to him than the rainy tropical night outside his window. He opened the front door, and walked out onto the veranda, taking in a deep breath of fresh air. He welcomed the rain. It felt a little better than the constant humidity, but the moisture was always there, whether it fell from the heavens or hung in the air.

If only that fateful night had been nearly as warm as it was at this moment, things might have moved faster. They might have found Peter and Carolyn before...

Paul shuddered. The frightening sights of the past assailed him, spinning out like a movie through his mind's eye. He was no longer in Central America. He was back on that cold ridge again, trying to find Peter. He sighed and pushed away the images, looking around him for some form of distraction, but found none.

Nights like these were the hardest for him to bear. Most times, he was busy with different tasks, but there were times like this when he wrestled with the events of his past, and they often left him exhausted and discouraged.

He went inside, and headed to his suitcase. He didn't know exactly what he was after until he knelt down and opened it up. The letters from Annie and the kids that Rykker had forwarded to him. A moment later, he had the precious letters in hand and headed back to the bed.  
It was risky, both for himself and the others, to actually carry documents from his loved ones, but they had been routed through several countries and passed through enough hands that he was sure the trail had grown cold long before the letters ever reached him.

Propping himself up with his back against the wall, he sat with his knees up and pulled the first letter from the pouch. It was hard limiting himself to only one letter from Annie and each of the kids, but on nights like this, he would pour over them for hours, as if they were his lifeline to reality and maybe they were.

Annie's letter was written using her computer and printed in Braille. It had touched her deeply when he had learned to read Braille, but he told her it was just another way to feel closer to her. Her personality came through the imprinted text as clearly as those from the kids. 

But reading her words was almost too painful for him to bear at times, simply because they reflected her love so perfectly. He brushed his fingers across the letter, wishing it was the features of her pretty face instead. He didn't linger over it long. It just hurt too damned much.

He read Carolyn's next, smiling broadly as she told him of the baby and Todd. God, he wanted to be near them right then. But that was impossible. Dropping Carolyn's letter back into the bag, he pulled out the next one. 

It was Kelly's. She spoke of college, her part-time job, and being in love. Again, another smile graced his lips, the smile of a doting father.

After a bit, he put it back, and pulled out Peter's. He held it for a moment, glancing back at the flash bag. Security devices like this ensured his anonymity and meant he could maintain the tenuous link with his family, but he hated the need for such things. However, he still needed to protect them at all costs, so that was how it had to be.

He hefted Peter's letter again. It seemed heavier with his thoughts centering on the young man all evening long, especially with news of yet another injury. Or, maybe, it was like Annie's letter, just too painful to dwell on.

"Oh, Peter," he whispered as he stared at his son's unique scrawl, "Your family wouldn't age nearly as fast, if you'd only think before you acted."

He shook his head, inwardly chiding himself for his comment. Acting without thinking, moving in that intuitive manner Peter often displayed, had saved Peter's life and the lives of others numerous times. Who was he to question that? After all, it was Peter's selfless act that had saved Carolyn so long ago.

Paul shivered as he thought of that night again. It had been full of troubling images, but finding Peter after coming across Carolyn that night had proved to be one of the most disturbing he'd ever known.

**oOoOoOoOo**

_Paul was puffing from exertion by the time he reached the cave. His head pounded in time with the rapid beat of his heart, but he didn't care. Peter was close and soon they'd have both kids home safe and sound._

_He knelt at the mouth of the small cave and called Peter's name. He was greeted with the hollow echo of his own voice. He swung his flashlight around the cave while keeping a firm grip on his weapon, just in case there were any rampaging bears still lurking in the area._

_"Peter?" Paul called again, but the cave was definitely empty._

_He stood, whirling his flashlight around the area, ignoring the wave of dizziness that followed his rapid movements. Instead, he called again, this time in desperation. "Peter!"_

_There was no sound, except for the renewed rainfall. It had stopped for a while, but now it was back in full force. Paul shouted Peter's name louder, frustrated that there was no sign of the boy._

_He couldn't have misunderstood Carolyn's instructions. The cave was right where she had said it would be. He knelt down again, sweeping the cave with the beam of light. Nothing. Peter was gone._

_"Dammit," he cursed under his breath as he stood, and then paused, biting his lip._

_Which direction would Peter have headed? There hadn't been any sign of him on the way he'd just come, so that only left the upward trail. Paul stepped forward when the beam of light revealed a mass on the ground._

_It was too small to be Peter, but Paul rushed to investigate nonetheless. Only to stop short when he recognized Scooby's mangled body. Paul had to look away. The sight hurt him, both because Scooby had died protecting his children and because he'd held a great affection for the dog._

_He knelt beside Scooby's body, and patted his shoulder. "You did well, Scooby. Your sacrifice will be long remembered, old friend."_

_Paul closed his eyes for a moment, and then he heard a sound. It was a voice. A very weak voice, but a human voice nonetheless. Peter. It had to be Peter._

_Paul was on his feet and moving forward before he realized it._

_"Peter!" he shouted, trying to get the boy's attention._

_He paused when he realized Peter's voice would stop and start without reason, as if he was carrying on a conversation with someone. He called out to Peter several more times as he ran toward the distant voice, but the calls went unanswered. If Peter wasn't shouting at him, then who was he shouting at?_

_Paul rounded the corner as his questions multiplied, but everything stopped the moment he saw Peter was lying at the edge of a precipice, with his eyes closed as if asleep. His lips were moving, murmuring indecipherable words. Paul decided Peter must have been calling for help in one of his nightmares, once again locked in that painful past of his._

_Paul's grip on his flashlight tightened when he realized Peter couldn't be aware of what was going on around him, or his fear of heights would have kept him from far from the ledge where he now lay._

_Paul tried to slow his breathing, but all he could manage was panicked gasps for air. He only had one chance to save Peter. Any mistakes and Peter would tumble over the edge. He paused, listening to Peter’s ramblings and he hoped to use it to help navigate a clear path to saving his son._

_"They're dead. They're all dead..." Peter sobbed with grief, opening his eyes occasionally as he spoke._

_Paul maneuvered himself as close to the boy as he could without startling him. When he was about six feet from Peter, he stopped, hoping Peter would see him and recognize him as a friend._

_Peter caught the movement as planned. Paul forced a smile, despite his concern for Peter's condition. Even in the dim lighting, Paul could see the boy was holding one arm close to his chest, and he was bleeding from several spots, especially from a head wound._

_Swallowing hard, Paul whispered, "It's me, Peter. I'm here to take you home."_

_Peter squinted and then shook his head. His head dropped back to the ground and began to cry. "They're dead. They’re all dead."_

_Paul managed to gain another few feet, sliding along the rock wall behind him as unobtrusively as possible. "Who's dead, son?" he asked softly._

_"Everyone I've ever cared about is dead." Peter shuddered with the depth of his grief. "Maybe, I'm the kiss of death. Maybe, I am death. Or maybe I should just die," he whispered as he stared down at the dark abyss below him._

_Paul's heart nearly stopped with those whispered words. "No, Peter! I – I can't let you die. We can't let you die. We all love you too much to let that happen."_

_When Peter turned towards him, the bewildered look on the boy's bloodied face compelled Paul to continue and he took another step closer. "You've got a new home with a new family who loves you. You are very important to us, son. We won't let you die, not without a fight."_

_Peter's chin quivered as he finally recognized Paul. "Scooby's dead because of me," he whispered._

_Paul's eyes filled with tears, sharing his son's heartache. "Yes, son, I know he's dead, but it's not your fault. He gave his life so that you and Carolyn could live. Because he loved you as much as I love you, and the rest of your family loves you, too. I'm here to take you home."_

_Peter shook his head and dropped his gaze as he murmured, "No, you won't love me, not when you find out that Carolyn's dead, too. Oh, God, I'm so sorry."_

_Paul took another step towards him. "No, son, Carolyn is just down the trail with Kermit. Scooby saved you both. It's time to come in from the cold. It's time to go home."_

_"Home?" Peter whispered, like it was a new word to him._

_Paul was nearly to him and moved carefully, not wanting to break the spell. "Yes, home. Your home. With your own room. Your own bike. Home."_

_Peter's eyes filled with tears again._

_"I have no home," Peter answered, his voice barely audible above the howling wind that came up suddenly. The storm was gaining strength again. All the more reason to grab Peter and make a run for safety._

_Paul cursed the weather silently before turning his full attention on Peter. "Sure you do, Peter. Annie and Kelly are worried sick about you. Come on, it's time to go, son."_

_Peter shook his head, and started mumbling gibberish again._

_He jumped when he saw Paul was about to touch him, and then gasped with awed recognition. "F-Father?" he whispered. "Father, how are you here? I saw you die. You and all the others..."_

_Paul froze in place. Peter's eyes had the glazed haze of injury and exhaustion. One false move could send him falling down into the canyon below._

_"Peter," he said softly. "Peter, I've come for you."_

_"No, I'm not falling for your tricks," Peter whispered with words of bitter anger, clearly seeing Paul as someone else._

_Paul was stymied. He didn't know what he should do next. Should he just grab Peter and pull him to safety? Or would a sudden move be all it took to send him over the edge?_

_"It's no trick, Peter," Paul said, wiping at the rain on his face._

_Paul could see the boy shaking violently from the cold. He wished he had grabbed Kermit's backpack. Peter needed the aids Kermit had with him for providing physical warmth, and he needed them fast._

_"I know you from my teachings at the temple," Peter said, waving a shaking finger in his direction. "Old Ping Hai warned me about you. He called you a demon in disguise, something trying to steal me away. A dragon in hiding... A tiger lying in wait..."_

_Peter made no sense. And that was all the more reason for Paul to grab him. But before Paul could act, Peter shook his head slightly, blinking several times as he came out of his trance and finally saw Paul as Paul again. Peter sighed and reached out a shaky hand toward him. "Paul? I want to go home."_

_Paul smiled and wrapped the boy in his arms before Peter could change his mind again._

_"Oh, Peter," he whispered, blinking back tears of relief._

_Peter gasped as his injuries flared with the movement. Paul adjusted his hold, but still kept the boy close to him._

_"It's – it's too damned cold out here," Peter whispered._

_Paul laughed and kissed Peter on the top of his head. Still kneeling, he pulled his sweater over his head and held it out for Peter to slip into. "It sure is."_

_Paul bit his lip when he saw the raised bruises on Peter's exposed skin and the careful way Peter maneuvered one arm into the sweater sleeve. "Is it broken?" he asked, stopping Peter to examine the limb more closely._

_Peter nodded. "Yeah, I think so."_

_"What happened?"_

_Peter sighed, snuggling into the sweater for as much warmth as he could get before he answered. "I woke up and Carolyn was beside me. She said I was sleepwalking. I didn't remember any of it. We were going back to the cabin when a bear saw us. We must have done something to make it mad 'cause it was coming at us at a full run. Scooby took off to defend us," Peter swallowed, pausing to press himself closer before he continued._

_"Okay, son, it's time to go. I know this is going to be hard on you. Just lean on me as much as possible. We'll be home before you know it."_

_Paul stopped and took off his boots and socks. He put the warm socks on Peter's feet, but not the boots. They were much too big for him. Paul slipped his bare feet into the boots._

_Peter only nodded, gritting his teeth together as he allowed Paul to help get him to his feet. A quiet moan escaped from the boy's lips as Peter sank against Paul's hip once he was standing. Paul tightened his hold. He empathized with Peter, well aware of how much pain Peter had to be in for the moan to slip out._

_All Paul could do was support as much of his weight as he could while guiding him down the mountain path. He hoped it would be enough. Peter surprised him by continuing with his explanation, though his voice cracked with pain and exhaustion._

_"By the time we got to him, Scooby and the bear were really going at it." He paused to swallow, and then bit his lip as his footing slipped. Paul had a good hold on Peter's shoulder, but the jarring movement caused another groan before Peter could stop it._

_When Paul slowed to a stop, Peter stubbornly shook his head and kept moving forward. He raised his gaze to meet Paul's and Paul saw the pain radiating from the boy's eyes. "I don't wanna stop. I just wanna be home."_

_Paul nodded warily, unsure how hard he should let the boy push himself, but then decided getting him back to the house quickly was the best thing possible._

_Peter started speaking again. Paul noticed the effort was wearing on the teen. Each time he spoke, Peter sounded weaker._ 'Damn, he's a stubborn kid,' _Paul thought proudly._ 'Reminds me of myself at that age.' 

_"Scooby had already taken a hit from the bear, and it was moving in for the kill. I picked up a branch and hit the bear with it."_

_Peter stopped speaking, and Paul thought that he was drifting into unconsciousness because he was practically carrying Peter by then. When he glanced down, he saw that Peter was crying again. "It's okay, son. You don't have to tell me everything right now."_

_Peter shook his head and rubbed at his injured arm. "Carolyn really loved that dog... and now he's dead because of me."_

_Paul leaned down and brushed his lips against Peter's temple. "We will find her a brand new puppy. It won't take Scooby's place, but it will help ease the loss."_

_Peter raised his head with effort. "Carolyn's with Kermit?" he asked, still questioning the information Paul had told him earlier._

_Paul smiled and shifted the hold his fingers had on the lightweight flashlight while still supporting most of Peter's weight. "Yes. She's cold and wet, but basically okay. Why did you think she was dead?"_

_Fear danced across Peter's expression, leaving a trail across Paul's heart. "Because she wasn't there when I woke up. I – I thought the bear had gotten her somehow. I went – I went looking for her, and I couldn't find her."_

_Paul squeezed the boy in his arms as tightly as he could without hurting him. "She's fine. You can see for yourself in a couple of minutes."_

_Peter brushed at his eyes with his good hand, and then stiffened in pain. Paul watched him with concern for a moment until he was sure Peter was sufficiently recovered to begin again. Paul chose a slower pace to lessen the pain he caused Peter as they moved along. "How bad is it, Peter?"_

_Peter shook his head. "It's okay."_

_Paul knew the boy was lying, but he didn't challenge him, choosing instead to brush his lips across the top of Peter's hair. The gesture caused Peter to close his eyes in gratitude, but then he had to struggle to open them again. Paul suspected that sleep wasn't far off, but with his head injury, he couldn't let the boy fall sleep. Walking helped to keep Peter alert, but the boy was so weak, Paul wound up supporting most of Peter's weight._

_Paul started a series of questions he hoped would help to keep Peter awake and focused._

_"I take it the bear didn't appreciate being hit with a tree branch?"_

_Peter smiled, and looked up with a twinkle in his eyes. "No, he didn't like it." Peter paused as he chuckled softly. "I really pissed him off."_

_Paul smiled with Peter's statement, but the smile soon disappeared. "So, what happened? Did it take a run at you, too?"_

_Peter nestled himself into the hollow under Paul's shoulder. "Yeah, I tried to run, but I slipped on the mud. That bear was mean and fast. I knew if I went down, it would be all over."_

  
_Paul tried not to visualize Peter's encounter with the bear, but his imagination was too quick and he shook his head to cast away the image. Meanwhile, Peter continued with his tale, but his voice was growing softer by the minute._

_"One swat from the bear's paw, and I went flying into a tree trunk. It knocked the air from me, but I was awake enough to hear Carolyn screaming. When I opened my eyes, I saw the bear was going after her."_

_Paul's heart began to beat harder and it wasn't from supporting Peter. Maybe, it was better if Paul didn't know how close his children had been to death._

_"Carolyn dropped to the ground and didn't move. It took a moment for me to see she was just playing dead. The bear sniffed at her a few times before it buried her with some leaves and turned back toward me."_

_"So, what did you do?"_

_"I played dead, too. It worked for Carolyn – I figured it might work for me, too."_

_Peter sighed, and Paul felt the constant trembling of the boy's body. He recognized the signs of exposure. Luckily, they weren't far from Kermit and Carolyn. If the others had responded to Kermit's flare, help should be very close._

_Paul realized the boy had gone silent and shook him slightly. "Peter?"_

_There was no response for a long moment, and then Peter answered him, "Yeah?"_

_Paul let out the breath he'd been holding. "Are you ready to go home?"_

_This time, Peter's answer was more delayed. "I'd like that," he replied dreamily, shifting slightly in Paul's embrace, "I'm really hungry."_

_"Hungry?" Paul asked in surprise, and then chuckled. "I do believe your stomach has the potential to eat us out of house and home."_

_He hoped for a typical teenaged smart-ass reply from Peter, but he was greeted with silence instead. Paul's alarm grew with each passing second. The boy wasn't moving. Paul tried shaking him again, but nothing roused him._

_"Dammit," Paul cursed as he pulled Peter up into his arms before he increased his pace, practically dragging him along._

_The night erupted in another bolt of lightning and a tremendous clap of thunder, and then the rain really poured. Paul didn't care. Let it come. He had Peter and Carolyn back with him again. After a visit to the hospital, they would both be home to drive him crazy in their own individual ways. He sighed as he decided nothing in the world sounded better._

_Without warning, Peter roused from unconsciousness with a hand darting out in front of them. "Watch out!" he cried, and then grimaced from the sudden movement._

_Paul stopped immediately, whispering soothing words of comfort to the boy as his heart sympathized with Peter's plight._ 'He's lost in another one of those blasted nightmares,' _Paul thought with a grimace. '_ When will it ever end for him,' _he wondered as he rocked Peter gently._

_Peter was still murmuring warnings in his sleep when Paul decided to press on again. "Watch out. Watch out."_

_Paul had just rounded a steep curve in the trail when the air was filled with a different kind of rumbling. Paul froze in his tracks, stunned by the bear's sudden appearance, even though he had been prepared for it earlier._

_As before, Peter's hand shot out in warning again, and he shouted breathlessly, "Watch out!"_

_Paul's gaze darted from the bear to Peter in disbelief. How could the boy possibly have known the bear was about to attack them? Paul didn't have time to analyze the coincidence because the bear was starting toward them._

_Paul slowly backed around the corner, dragging Peter with him, but the bear followed them, roaring even louder complaints. Paul knew he was going to have to do something because the bear didn't act like it was going to give up easily. He braced Peter's limp body against the mountain wall beside him and reached into his holster just as the bear charged._

_Paul stared at the beast as he fumbled for his gun, cursing the fact that his movements were slowed by the cold and rain. "Peter, stay behind me!"_

_As the bear loomed before them, Peter was unresponsive, but that was the least of Paul's worries. The wild eye glare in the bear's expression and frothing at the mouth indicated possible rabies infection._

_Paul swore under his breath as he realized the bullets in his gun weren't of sufficient caliber to stop a raging bear attack. He shielded Peter as much as he could, praying that the bear would be content with one human body to rip apart, and would ignore the second unconscious form left behind him._

_The bear was almost upon them when a series of shots rang out like a rolling volley of violent thunder claps. The bear fell forward, landing at Paul's feet. Its last breath fogged the toe of his boots for a moment, and then it didn't move again._

_Peter groaned and collapsed, falling to the ground but Paul caught him before he hit the dirt and lifted him upright again, back into his protective hold again. He had Peter securely in his arms again, just as Kermit came into sight._

_Kermit had his Desert Eagle still drawn, its muzzle steaming from the numerous shots. Then he caught sight of Carolyn standing at Kermit's side, still wearing Paul's jacket. The overall effect made her look like a runaway waif. And Paul sighed as he decided she had never looked more beautiful._

_Paul hugged Peter more closely to him and leaned against the rock behind him in relief. Safe, they were all finally safe. As Kermit approached, Paul gathered his thoughts. "I thought I ordered you not to come after me for any reason."_

_Kermit grinned. "I never did quite get the hang of following orders. Nasty habit of mine."_

_Carolyn broke away from Kermit's support and raced to Paul. She buried her face into his shoulder and cried, "I think both of you are crazy! That bear could have killed you!"_

_Then, she pulled away and glanced at Peter. "Is he okay?"_

_Paul looked down at his son and smiled again. "After all this, he had better be. He's bruised and battered, maybe even some broken bones, but we'll get him to the hospital and they'll have him fixed up in no time. The worst part is over."_

_Carolyn reached up and kissed him on the cheek. "I hope so. Let's go," she whispered._

**oOoOoOoOo**


	7. Chapter 7

Paul sighed as he opened Peter’s letter. He'd read it so often, he almost had it committed to memory. He glanced at the familiar scribble and suddenly Peter's voice was in his head. 

**'Hi Dad,'**

He closed his eyes and memory filled in the rest by supplying Peter's gestures and mannerisms, so he let Peter speak directly to his lonesome heart.

**'What can I say? I miss you like hell. I pray for you each day, and especially when I'm at my father's shrine (extra good luck for you that way.) I hope you aren't too lonely being away like you are and that the day of your return comes soon.**

**'Mom and the girls are fine. I know they are writing to you, too, so I won't tell you about them. Other than they miss you as much as I do.**

**'You know, I've decided love is a double-edged sword. I mean, when life is good, the love flows freely. You just revel in the emotion, but it can cut through your soul when the person you love isn't around. Right now, I feel like I'm bleeding.**

**'No, this isn't the way I wanted to do this letter. Damn, it's just that it's been so long since I've talked to you in person. I've already torn up the last six letters and I might tear this one up too.'**

Paul smiled, recognizing Peter's frustration and imagined his desk filled with the torn fragments of letters started, but then destroyed. 

**'Mom told me she talked to you about what happened here and how I wound up in the hospital this last time. The rioting on the streets was so bad, it felt like the 101st was lost in some war zone. I guess I'm not soldier material, because I had no stomach for it. I don't know how you and Kermit lasted as long as you did.'**

Paul thought of Peter's comment. "That's because you have the heart of a priest, son, not a soldier." He closed his eyes, visualizing Peter's response. _"I'm a cop. That's who I am. That's what I do," Peter would say emphatically, and then run a hand through his hair and murmur, "I'll leave the priesthood to men like my father. No, I'm just a plain old street cop."_

"You may be a cop, Peter, but you've got a gentle side that you shelter from most of the world."

Paul set the letter down and stood slowly, stretching his back as he walked to look out the open front door. "What am I doing? Talking to letters when I'm not talking to myself? Dammit, I am losing it," he muttered, rubbing at the back of his neck in disgust.

The air was fresher following the rainfall and the night finally felt a little cooler. He inhaled the aromas of the jungle, from the intoxicating scent of flowers to the invigorating scent of newly fallen rain. Overall, it blended into something quite pleasant. Paul closed his eyes, able to enjoy the refreshing moment enough to settle upon the top stair and join in nature's revelry of a world washed clean.

After a moment, a different night of rain crept into his thoughts. Another night spent worrying about Peter and hospitals. Paul was being dragged back to the past again, its beckoning call, both enticing and relentless. He went along willingly. The present held little solace for his troubled spirit. Perhaps, in the past, he would find the comfort he so desperately needed.

So, he leaned against the railing that ran along the stairs and stepped back into the past once more.

**oOoOoOoOo**

_Paul sat in a chair beside Peter's hospital bed when he heard a noise at the door. He glanced up to see Annie entering the room with Carolyn. He smiled and stood, going to embrace his oldest daughter._

_Carolyn hugged him tightly. He pulled away, brushing the strands of hair from her eyes. It was so good to see her looking like her old self again. Those first few hours in the hospital emergency ward had been difficult ones, but Carolyn's emotional state improved once Annie arrived._

_"I thought you were still sleeping, honey," Paul whispered into Carolyn's ear as he hugged her once more. He kept a hand on her shoulder, as if that would be all it would take to keep her feeling safe._

_He spared a quick glance over at Kelly, still sleeping in one of the chairs in Peter's hospital room. The little one had refused to stay at the house with friends. Kelly was adamant that she wanted to stay with Carolyn and Peter. Paul didn't have it in his heart to force her to stay at home while the rest of the family was at the hospital. Hell, maybe he might have needed her with them more than she needed to be with them. If nothing else, that previous night had proved the definition of family went far beyond blood ties._

_His youngest daughter had stayed awake most of the night, but had finally fallen asleep a few hours ago. Now, as the morning sun was nearly halfway risen, she slept like an angel adrift on a cloud._

_Paul turned back to Carolyn, and found her watching him closely. The girl smiled for his benefit. "I'm really not tired, Daddy. Not like you and Mom. Somebody can sleep in my bed and I can wait with Peter."_

_Paul turned to face her fully. There was a difference about his eldest daughter. A coming of age. His little girl was turning into a young lady and he wasn't at all ready for the transformation._

_He smiled and brushed his hand across her cheek. "I'm fine, honey, but maybe your mother should lie down for a bit."_

_Annie stepped forward and put out a hand for him to take. "I'm fine, too. Better than you. I hear that bruise Peter gave you last night is quite dramatic. If anyone here needs to rest, it's you."_

_Paul shook his head and then caught himself. Even after all the time he'd been with Annie, he forgot about her disability occasionally. "No, I couldn't sleep just yet. I want to wait until Peter wakes up. Once I know he's okay, then I will rest."_

_Kelly roused a bit, mumbling in her sleep, and Annie followed the sound, using her cane to guide her to Kelly's recliner. She knelt beside the dreaming child and rubbed her back as she whispered soft words of comfort._

_Paul watched them for a moment before turning toward Peter's bed. Right then, he would have given anything for Peter to be dreaming like that. The last time Peter had moved was when the nurse came in to check his vital signs. Paul sighed with worry, rubbing his temple without realizing it._

_"Does it hurt, Daddy?" Carolyn asked, moving closer to him._

_He shrugged. "Some."_

_"Mom said the doctor told you that you needed a hospital bed of your own, instead of staying in here. I think she said it was for... observation."_

_Paul's glance darted toward Carolyn before looking over at Annie with Kelly and then stopped at Peter, as he deliberately avoided his daughter's worried stare. "I've had other things on my mind. I'll be fine, honey."_

_She leaned against him more, her hand squeezing his as she shuddered slightly. "I sure hope so. It was bad enough last night, but the thought of you being really sick would be just too scary for me to even think about."_

_Her gaze went downward as she whispered, "I start shaking every time I remember last night. I still can't believe it was real."_

_"It was real. Too damned real to suit me," he muttered, allowing his anger and fear to dissipate as he took her in his arms, kissing the top of her head. "But it's over now. It's all over and done with."_

_Annie walked up behind them, placing a hand on their backs. "It was an absolutely horrendous night, but with the courage and love of this family, everyone came home safely."_

_Paul nodded, slipping an arm around her waist. "I had some serious doubts that it would turn out that way. Thank God, I didn't trust those doubts."_

_Carolyn's gaze centered on Peter, becoming very sad. "All I could think of was that Peter and I were gonna be killed by that bear and nobody would ever know exactly what happened to us."_

_Annie leaned forward, placing her chin on Carolyn's shoulder and held it there as she wrapped her arms around Carolyn's waist from behind. "You had guardian angels watching over you, darling. I've always said this family is blessed. Last night just proved that point."_

_Carolyn nodded, but she still hadn't taken her eyes off of Peter's sleeping form. "He – he was so brave in trying to save Scooby. But I just couldn't believe my eyes! I mean, attacking a bear with a tree branch? What was he thinking?"_

_Paul followed her gaze to Peter. "He was trying to save your life."_

_Carolyn shuddered with the recall, and then finally glanced back toward Paul. "Peter really thought I was dead?"_

_Paul looked at her again and nodded. "He did. He was so full of guilt over the death of Scooby, and of you, that I thought I was going to lose him right then and there."_

_Carolyn's chin began to tremble for the first time since she'd entered the room. Paul knew what was causing it, as did Annie. It was time for the grieving process for Scooby to begin. His wife tightened her hold on Carolyn and they just let her cry it out._

_No one said anything for a long while as the three held onto each other for support and shared loss. Finally, Carolyn pulled away. As she wiped at her eyes, she turned toward Peter. "I know he feels really bad about Scooby. Please don't tell him I cried like a baby over it."_

_Paul shook his head, taking her into his arms. "No, that would be lying and until Peter gets to know us all as well as we know each other, I think we need to be perfectly honest. Besides, he has to grieve the loss of Scooby too. He'd grown very attached to that dog in the months since he started coming to the house for visits."_

_Carolyn looked at him with eyes full of understanding and nodded._

_Annie rubbed Carolyn's shoulder. "It might be nice if all of us went together to pick out a new puppy."_

_Carolyn stiffened. "No, I don't want a new puppy."_

_Paul was surprised. He had just assumed that Carolyn would want another dog. "No? Why not?"_

_Carolyn shook her head and pushed her bangs from her eyes. "It doesn't seem right. Not now. Maybe later."_

_"Okay, honey, you just say the word when you're ready," Annie said._

_As Annie spoke with Carolyn, Paul slipped out of her hold and walked over to the window, looking out at the budding spring morning. Where had the horrors from the previous night gone? The scene he was staring at was freshly washed from the night's rains. Now, it was full of hope and promise replacing the black night's overwhelming despair._

_Paul swallowed, grateful for the opportunity to spend another day with those he loved. Turning from the window, he asked Carolyn, "What happened after the bear gave up on you and Peter? How did you manage to get the two of you into that cave?"_

_Carolyn closed her eyes and began to cry again, unable to handle the sudden onslaught of memories. They were still too fresh for the youngster to process. She crumpled into Annie's arms and Annie caught just her before she fell to the ground._

_Paul was beside them in an instant. He took the girl from Annie, lifting her easily into his arms and started out of the room. Annie held onto him, keeping up with his pace as she whispered, "It's too much for her to be up and about so soon. Shock and exposure can be very dangerous in a child her age."_

_Carolyn roused up and saw where they were headed._

_"No! Daddy, I want to stay in here! I want to stay with everyone else!" she shouted hoarsely._

_Paul stopped and looked into her panicked expression. The silent pleading tore at his heart. Glancing to one side, he saw another recliner chair where Carolyn could stretch out. It was nearly as good as a hospital bed._

_"The only way you're staying here is if you keep your butt planted in that chair with plenty of blankets to keep you warm. Is that understood?"_

_Carolyn nodded emphatically. "Yes, Daddy, anything to stay."_

_"Annie?" Paul asked as he looked at her._

_Annie answered by squeezing his arm. With his wife's blessing, he placed Carolyn into the chair, pushing it back to fully recline and then covered her with two blankets that had been stacked on a table for him._

_"There, are you still feeling dizzy or lightheaded, honey?"_

_"No, Daddy, I'm fine. Like you, I'm fine."_

_Paul bit the inside of his lip at Carolyn's unintentional comment. He wasn't being much of a role model for taking care of one's self, but the thought of being stuck in another room in a hospital bed was more than he could tolerate. Apparently, his daughter felt the same way._

_He brushed the hair from her eyes and bent to kiss her forehead. "I love you, sweetheart."_

_"I love you too, Daddy. All of you, even Peter. I'm just glad it's over with."_

_She had started to cry again, but this time it was with softly shared tears. Annie took her hand and murmured comforting words only a mother could manage. Paul watched as the fear dissipated and a calmness settled over Carolyn._

_Once again, the girl's gaze went to Peter. She started speaking in a quiet whisper, as if that tone would help to keep the tears at bay, and she answered Paul's earlier question without being asked again._

_"When – when the bear left me and went over to Peter, I thought it was gonna get him for sure. I was ready to jump up and start screaming at it, but it just sniffed around Peter for a few seconds, and then it just walked away."_

_She wiped at the residual tears on her face as she took a deep breath. Paul was about to tell her to stop, but she shook her head, as if knowing what he wanted to say and refused the unspoken request._

_"It – it stopped a few times to turn and look back at us. It seemed like forever before it left us. I could still hear it growling as it went around the corner."_

_She shuddered, pulling the blankets closer to her without pausing in her storytelling. "I crawled over to Peter. I could barely see him 'cause it was so dark, but I knew he was hurt and bleeding. I tried to talk to him, but he was too out of it to hear me._

_"I – I looked around us. Oh, Mom, I just didn't know what else to do, but then I saw that little cave. It was way too small for the bear to get into but we could. That place stunk like nasty old skunks, but it was long and narrow, and dry. I knew it would keep the bear out, but I wasn't sure if I could get Peter inside of it."_

_She swallowed, again her eyes glazed over as fear flooded back into them. Paul reached down and rubbed the back of her hand. Carolyn reacted to Paul's touch and put her hand over his, holding onto him tightly._

_Annie was the first to break the silence. "So, how did you get Peter into the cave, honey?"_

_"It wasn't easy," Peter said, his voice thick with sleep._

_Everyone smiled at Peter's comment. Carolyn looked up at Paul with a pleading expression and he nodded, picking her up and carrying her over to sit on Peter's bed. "Just for a few minutes, honey, and then it's back to the chair."_

_Annie moved in to sit on the opposite side of the bed and Paul stood at guard behind Carolyn, just in case she got dizzy again._

_"Hey, weirdo," Carolyn teased, but Paul read the emotion present in her voice and saw there was a bond between the two of them now, knowing their ordeal had galvanized their relationship into something much stronger than it had been the day before._

_Peter made a face at her, and then grimaced as he moved his broken arm. When Paul glanced from Peter to Carolyn, he saw her gasp, and then hold her breath. Her face was etched with unspoken worry. Peter saw her concern and stared at her with confusion before his gaze went to the others, stunned to see everyone was so worried about him._

_"Hey, I'm okay. I just moved wrong," he said, more than a little uncomfortable with the attention._

_Carolyn broke the tension by leaning forward as she whispered, "Yeah, I know, you're fine. I'm fine. Everybody's fine." She spared a glance in Paul's direction, probably to see if her sarcasm had been detected by her father, before looking over at her little sister. "Kelly's here, too, but she's still asleep."_

_"No, I'm not. I'm awake. I've just been listening," Kelly said as she sat up suddenly and rubbed her eyes, instantly on alert, and wanting in on the conversation. She scrambled from the chair and over to Peter's bed._

_"Can I sit on your bed, too, Peter?" she asked as she stood, patiently pausing for his permission._

_Peter nodded as he made room for her. Annie sat behind Kelly, cradling the little one in her arms, leaving Paul to stand behind Carolyn._

_Peter took a deep breath and gave Carolyn a once over. "Are you really fine? I mean, are you really okay after everything?"_

_The guilt in Peter's eyes as he directed his questions to Carolyn nearly broke Paul's heart, but Carolyn didn't seem to notice._

_"Oh, sure, sure, I'm fine." She smiled brightly at him before folding her arms in front of her, with a mock expression of disdain. "Just don't think I'm going to do your chores because of that broken arm of yours."_

_Kelly leaned closer and looked at Peter's cast, deep in thought. "Does it hurt?" she asked finally._

_Peter shook his head. "No, not unless I move it the wrong way."_

_"Can I touch it?"_

_Peter smiled at her. "Sure, it's just a cast."_

_Kelly rubbed her fingers over it. "Billy Thompson had a cast one time, and he let me write on it. Can I write my name on your cast, too?"_

_Peter's smile broadened. "Yeah," he replied, winking at Kelly, "Sure, you can, Squirt."_

_Then Peter's gaze went to where Paul was standing and the boy reacted as he took in Paul's bruised forehead for the first time. Paul felt Peter's gaze turn into pain-filled guilt as unspoken questions whisked across the boy's expression._

_Somehow, Peter knew he was responsible for Paul's injury and that knowledge was tearing him up inside. Paul took a step closer to Peter, amazed at how much the boy could convey with just his expression._

_"Paul, what happened? How-how did you get hurt?" Peter's already hoarse voice acquired a ragged edge as he spoke._

_The boy's eyes couldn't quite meet Paul's as he impatiently waited for an answer. Paul shifted for a moment. His earlier comment to Carolyn was now haunting him, but he knew he was correct in recommending full honesty with Peter. Anything less than that could destroy the groundwork they had already laid in building a trusting relationship with Peter._

_"We had a little collision, son," he paused as the halfhearted attempt at a smile failed. Peter's disbelieving frown ruled out any further levity, so he simply added, "You were having a very bad dream."_

_Peter stiffened in the bed as his breathing came in rapid gasps. Using honesty might have been the right course of action, but it was also a very painful one for Peter to endure. Peter's gaze lingered on Paul's bruised forehead for another moment before it darted to Carolyn, who was still pale and weak, and then to his arm in a cast._

_"Yeah, but it wasn't a dream. It was one of my stupid nightmares. Geez, see what you have brought into your house when you took me from the orphanage? A kid who has nightmares every single night. Nightmares that nearly killed two people in your family."_

_"You mean in 'our' family, Peter," Annie corrected him. "And nobody died, honey. Don't carry guilt over things that never happened. Life isn't long enough as it is."_

_Peter's face contorted in grief. "Scooby died."_

_An awkward silence filled the room until Kelly turned back to Peter. "Scooby was a really good dog, and I hate that mean old bear for hurting him, but I'm glad the bear didn't kill you, too. Or Carolyn."_

_She lighted patted Peter on his plastered arm and whispered, "Thank you for saving my big sister."_

_Paul rubbed a hand over his mouth, hoping to hide the sudden tremble that appeared there with the child's words of comfort. He soon forgot about it as he watched the youngster stare at a swelling by Peter's eye._

_"I bet it really hurt when that bear threw you into the tree," Kelly whispered in awe._

_Peter flinched with the memory, but recovered quickly. "Yeah, it did, Squirt, but it wasn't anything compared to – " his voice broke off, and he was suddenly flustered._

_"Compared to what?" Kelly asked._

_Peter's gaze darted around the room, trying to find a spot where there wasn't a face staring back at him. He swallowed, ducking his head. "Compared to seeing that bear attack Scooby," he whispered with a voice that cracked with emotion._

_Paul wasn't sure what to say to ease Peter's sorrow, but maybe there wasn't anything to be said. Kelly merely moved to lean her head against Peter's chest and wrapped her small arms around him._

_Carolyn leaned forward and placed her hand on his thigh at the same time Annie rubbed his shoulder. Tears flowed down Peter's cheeks and suddenly they were a family sharing a moment of grief. Paul stepped from behind Carolyn and wrapped an arm around her shoulders as Peter wiped at his face._

_Kelly turned, looking up from where her chin rested on Peter's chest. "Tell me everything that happened."_

_Paul could see that Peter's roiling emotions were battling with his guilt. The concern of the little girl at his side was almost too much for him to bear. Paul could almost read Peter's inner battles as if they were words written in a psychology book. In the next moment, Peter started pulling inside, withdrawing from the love flowing around him, unable to accept it any longer._

_"When can I get out of here?" Peter asked, seeming to fight to hold back his tears._

_Annie's head cocked towards Peter, as if trying to attune herself to his sudden change in attitude, and then she turned to Paul for direction. Paul cleared his throat, stalling as long as he could before speaking. The knot in his gut from the night before was starting to twist and tighten again._

_"Well, Peter, I believe the doctor said you could be released in the morning as long as you continued to do well."_

_Peter nodded once. Something in that nod made Paul's gut tighten even more. Or maybe it was Peter's atypical unemotional demeanor fighting for control of his expression._

_"Good. I can be packed and ready to go back to the orphanage as soon as you can drive me there, sir."_

_Peter's response left everyone shocked and horrified._

_Paul was the first one to find his voice. "Peter, why would we – "_

_"Why – why would you want someone like me in your typical American family? Look at what I've done in only a few weeks! I've screwed everything up with those damned dreams! I've killed your dog and almost got your daughter killed, too! I'm not safe to be around! Can't you see that?"_

_Instead of reacting with anger, those around Peter radiated compassion. "You're not leaving us," Paul said simply._

_"Not because of some old silly dreams, that's for sure," Carolyn chimed in._

_"We love you, Peter. Last night was an accident. It's not going to happen every night," Annie added._

_Kelly put her hand on Peter's arm. "I'll let you have my teddy bear to sleep with, Peter. He always gives me happy dreams. I know he can help you, too."_

_Peter's chin trembled as he rebelled against the love being shown to him. He shook his head. He tried to throw back his blankets and get up. Paul's heart ached for him when he didn't have the strength to stand on his own. He knew what was happening with Peter._

_For so long, the boy had been without a family to love him. The kind of love that overlooked the mistakes and hardships everyone encountered. Just like the unconditional love that had been taken away from Peter so tragically with the death of his father years before._

_Now, to have it presented to him when he was feeling the most vulnerable, was almost too much for Peter to bear, especially when he considered himself to be the undeniable cause for Scooby' death. Peter was struggling inside and out. He couldn't make himself get out of his bed, and yet he couldn't allow himself to accept the love his family was giving him._

_Paul took a couple more steps and knelt at Peter's side, watching the tears stream down Peter's face. "You're a stubborn one, that's for sure. But you're the one we want in this family and whether you like it or not, you're stuck with us."_

_Peter's defenses crumpled as Paul took him in his arms. "You got that, kid? You're a part of this family now and always will be."_

_"Amen to that," Annie whispered softly._

_Peter sobbed as he held onto Paul, but even so, Paul could feel the fight go out of the boy as his head went limp against Paul's chest. When Paul pulled back to view Peter's reddened eyes, he was surprised by a solemn expression._

_"My father used to say the path of discovery begins by looking at the darkest parts of our heart in order to release the light that will show us our proper destiny in life."_

_Paul bit his lip as tears welled up for him suddenly. What a gem they had found in this young teen. Stubborn and wise. What an odd combination. And how fortunate they were to have him in their family._

_"Your father was a very wise man. I wish I could have known him. And I'm very proud of the way he raised you to be the young man you are today."_

_Peter wiped at his residual tears in a sudden burst of self-consciousness. "Okay, so I'm a part of this family," he paused as a mischievous grin replaced the pained expression from moments before, "But like you said, I'm a stubborn one and I want you to remember that you were the ones who asked for this."_

_Paul laughed and took him into another gentle hug. Then he stood back and allowed the others to say their own words of acceptance to Peter. After all, it wasn't every day that a new member was officially inducted into the family._

oOoOoOoOo


	8. Chapter 8

Paul held Peter's letter in his hand and turned to put it away. It was time to stop torturing himself over absent loved ones. Maybe with a little sleep, he could fall back into his regular routine. He certainly wasn't going to accomplish a thing without some sleep. 

Still, he couldn't make himself put that last letter back into the flash bag. He hefted it in his hand for another moment before he sat down and opened it up again. In an instant, Peter was back with him, heart and soul.

**'I know you think that I just rush into life-threatening situations without thinking them through, but I want you to know I've thought a lot about it (especially when I was in the hospital the last time).**

**'I think I do what I do because life is more precious to me than it is for most people. I know what it's like to lose those I love. I know the life-altering heartache that can follow. And because of that, I fight that much harder to save any life when given the opportunity.**

**'Those losses make me appreciate the people I have in my life so much more. I guess that's why it's so hard for me when you or Pop disappear from my daily life. I mean, I know you are okay, because I'd feel it in my gut if something ever happened to either one of you, but not seeing you on a regular basis hurts like hell.**

  
**'While I respect your decision to leave, I can't make myself like it. It's something I battle with daily, mostly because I don't understand it. I don't understand why we can't make a stand and fight for your freedom and safety. I don't understand why we are just giving into this. On the other hand, I don't understand why Pop takes off at a moment's notice, putting the problems of others above his own, either.'**

Paul bit his lip, feeling Peter's frustration radiate off the page, upset because he had felt similar emotions himself, but there was nothing that could be done until other matters were resolved. 

**'I guess I'm not very good at accepting decisions I don't understand, but I love you both, so I have to respect the decisions the two of you have made, and maybe I'll eventually accept them to a certain degree.**

**'I don't expect you guys to be perfect. I'm probably the first one to understand learning from one's mistakes. Sometimes, I wonder if that's the only way I really learn anything. But I do know from my teachings at the temple that by making mistakes, we learn compassion for others. Without trying to be more than we are, we would never know failure. And by continuing to try, by continuing to work past our failures, we discover things about ourselves and others that we would never learn otherwise. So, I'm gonna keep trying to understand.'**

Paul smoothed out a wrinkle in the paper, carefully protecting the written words. Peter's last statements had indicated growth and patience on his part. Paul wanted so much to see that change in Peter for himself. 

**'I know how you worry about me, Dad, especially at times when you get the kind of news Mom had to tell you last time. I can just see you pacing wherever you are, knowing that I was close to death and that there was nothing you could do to help me. I'm sorry to put you through times like that. I'd like to be able to promise that it would never happen again but I can't. I can't because I think danger lurks all around us, all the time. It's just I seem to find it more often than others. (Hey, I heard that laugh!)'**

Paul chuckled, even though he'd read that line countless times. It was Peter through and through, but then Peter's tone turned more serious again.

**'I don't know, maybe I'm more attuned to the kind of vibes that danger puts out or something, but it's there. Sometimes, you just have to close your eyes to the danger present and run headlong into it, trusting in a benevolent force to see you through.**

**'You were the one who once told me some of the best things that ever happened to you happened while you were on your way to something else. Boom, and your life is changed forever.**

**'You see, I think there's goodness that constantly surrounds us all, too. And the only thing that keeps us from fully experiencing it is a malevolent force, a counter-balance to all that is good in the world. Boom, and your life is changed forever. It's that balance of good and evil around us all the time that influences our lives, shaping and molding us into the people we are meant to be.**

**'Terrible things have happened in my life. Boom, and the idyllic life I knew at the temple was suddenly gone. My father was dead. Hell, I almost died. Terrible, horrible events.**

**'Then I was at the orphanage, fully believing I would be there until I turned eighteen. I knew where I was going and it was nowhere fast. One day, I was playing basketball and there you were. You walked into my life almost by accident, and my life was forever changed.**

**'I guess I had to suffer through the terrible times to get to the good ones and believe me, you are definitely in the category of good. I thank God that you found me and brought me into your life. It showed me that good can come out of bad. It showed me that we are never truly alone, though it took me a very long time to fully accept that as truth.**

**'Just like you are never truly alone, Dad. Not while we hold you in our hearts and not while there's a greater benevolence watching over you.**

**'Geez, I've really been rambling here. Maybe, I should tear up this letter, too.'**

Paul noticed Peter tapped his pen on the paper a few times before he continued. 

**'But maybe not. Maybe you need to hear what has been so hard for me to put into words, so you will know it's really me writing this letter to you, and you will hear the truth ringing in my words. Hell, we both know I can't keep my mouth shut most times anyway, so a rambling letter shouldn't surprise you much.'**

Paul closed his eyes, hearing Peter's grunt of laughter at the end of that sentence.

**'My father told me something last week that really stuck with me.**

**_'"Life is a mystery to be lived, not a mystery to be solved. Enjoy the mysteries of life as they unfold.'_ " **

**'I guess for cops like us, we bristle at the thought of not closing a case file, but maybe we should do just that. Enjoy life's mysteries without trying to answer every little question.**

**'All I know is, things happen for a reason. And, for whatever reason, you are apart from us right now. I only pray that situation will change soon. Meanwhile, I'll just try to enjoy life's mysteries, and who knows? I might answer a few questions along the way or make a new discovery that will send me along a new way of thinking.**

**'Whatever happens, I love you, Dad. More than words on a page can ever express and I'll always love you as long as I live. Thank you for being my father when I didn't have one. Thank you for being my foundation in those dark teenage years. Thank you for remaining my father when Pop reappeared in my life. Thanks for always being there for me. Thanks for everything.**

**'I love you, Dad.**

**'Your son, Peter.'**

Tears fell freely from Paul's eyes as he let the letter drop from his fingers onto the bed, lost in the wave of emotion rolling over him. How had Peter managed to grasp all of what he was feeling during the night and nail it down so succinctly?

The love he felt still coming from that letter was healing a great wound that had opened overnight. A few paragraphs had stitched together the ragged edges of the tear. Time and sleep would do the rest. His spirit had been washed clean of self-doubts and dark emotions, just as the storm outside had cleansed the land around him. 

Peter's letter had touched him before, but never as deeply as it had just done. Tonight, it seemed like Peter was right there with him, speaking those words while staring at him with tear-filled eyes.

_'I love you, Dad. '_

Paul stood and slowly walked around the room. Maybe he was simply walking on that same path of discovery Peter had been leading him on from the moment they first met. 

Discovery. 

Paul sighed as he thought about what he had discovered while being away from his family.

If Peter was right, if things truly happened for a reason, then the only reason he could discern from all his months on the run was uncovering the limitless depth of love and gratitude he felt toward his family. If he had been living at home all this time, instead of fleeing like a common criminal, he might have taken it all for granted. 

But that was no longer the case. If he ever made it home again, he vowed he'd never take his loved ones for granted again. What a lesson he had learned from all his suffering. Not many men ever reached the level of enlightenment required for such a discovery.

Paul stood at the open doorway, looking out into the night full of wildlife and made a decision. 

"Dammit, Peter's right. It is time to stop running. It's time to make a stand and fight for what I hold dear."

He sighed with the relief that flowed from saying those words aloud. Words that he knew in his heart to be true. Once the decision was made, all that was left to do was make the right things happen, so that he could go home and be with those he loved. 

So simple in concept, Paul thought, and so difficult in action to carry out, but Peter was right on the money when he said it was time to stop giving into those powers seeking to suppress Paul Blaisdell from living out the life he was meant to live.

Paul swallowed with a sudden wave of apprehension. It wouldn't be easy clearing a path that would take him home safely. It would require the use of every contact he had, and every IOU still floating around out there, but he was going to go home.

Paul sat at his desk, now writing with purpose, making lengthy notes of the first steps to do in order for his plan to work. Golden thin tendrils of dawn stretched across the open doorway and made him realize he'd been writing for hours. He yawned and set his pen on the desk atop the stack of written notes.

Now, he had a workable plan, but first he needed to sleep. He smiled as he noticed how much lighter his heart seemed now as he prepared for bed. Though, not much had actually happened to warrant such a shift in mood. After all, Peter was still injured and in a hospital. Paul was still in exile, and far away from those he loved. But something inside of him had changed.

Perhaps, it was the hope of change to come that had spurred the transformation of his spirit. Hope revealed in Peter's written lesson. Hope, trust, and love. All of those life-altering emotions that he'd been casually tossing into his suitcase in the form of letters from home without actually realizing it.

Paul put the notes and the letter back into the flashbag, carefully setting the security device, and then he replaced it into the hidden panel of his suitcase. Once he was done, he hid the suitcase behind the icebox and patted the ancient relic as if willing it to protect the contents of his suitcase from unknown dangers. He picked up his discarded letter to Annie and set it afire in the sink.

He headed back toward his bed, feeling stronger than he had for a very long time. A broad smile crossed his lips as he whispered aloud, "Peter, please never stop leading us along a path of discovery. Most people can't ever get those lessons, even when they search their whole life for it."

Paul turned over in bed and noticed how even the wildlife outside seemed more subdued than normal, allowing Paul the sleep he so desperately needed. His breathing slowly settled into a steady pace and he started to fall into a deep, trouble-free slumber. 

His last conscious thoughts made him smile as he decided his demons of the past might finally be put to rest one day very soon. Funny how everything had fallen into place, as if preordained to get him to the point of making this decision. Somehow, in the midst of worrying over Peter, those old demons had lost their power to haunt him. 

What was more, the future held more hope than he had felt for a very long time. The road home wasn't going to be an easy one, or even a safe one, but one thing was certain. He was going home. 

**The End**


End file.
